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Friday, April 08, 2005
I may never learn.
This time actually was a bit more fun because as Mrs. Muzikdude scanned items, the recording announced (loudly) what the item was.
*beep*
“Please place your”
(voice changes) “POTATOES”
(back to first voice) “In the bagging area”
I wish I were the person in charge of making those recordings. I would enter two nomenclatures in the database: “tampons” and “condoms.”
Think about it; you scan a carton of orange pineapple juice and the recording blares: “please place your”
“FEMINIE HYGIENE PRODUCT”
“in the bagging area”
…Or better yet, I might turn the whole experience into the Hokey Pokey by entering body parts.
“Please place your”
“LEFT FOOT”
“In the bagging area”
*error*
“I’m sorry, you must shake your item all about”
Yeah…that’s what it’s all about.
I also thought about other items such as:
“Please place your”
“crack cocaine”
Or
“Nuclear weapon”
Or
“Glock 9mm pistol”
“in the bagging area”.
Just to draw attention.
Every time Mrs. Muzikdude would scan an item I would mimic the recording and insert my own noun. She got a bit irritated with me (that's the fun part). I certainly drew attention when I said “please place your CODE ADAM in the bagging area”. She wasn’t amused.
I was amused, however, and I now see why Wal Mart contends their self-checkout is fun.
The fact is; I wasn’t doing this to humor myself or anyone else. It was like nervous laughter. I’m a private person in some respects and I don’t want everyone in the store to know what I buy. It’s MY business, not theirs.
I don’t need everyone knowing that I wear the “Eazy Kleen, Teflon coated thong”. (I’m kidding…really)
My advice is to avoid these checkouts if you have anything from the “personal care” or “pharmacy” sections. Seriously. You’ve been warned.
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