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Thursday, March 24, 2005
I like to explore. I like to find new things and experiences, especially in the world of cuisine. I expect to encounter opportunities for experimentation in the various restaurants we frequent but occasionally, I make discoveries of other kinds in unexpected places.
After dinner, Mrs. Muzikdude wanted to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I was giddy with excitement as we pulled into the parking lot. I welled with the anticipation of perusing placemats, doormats, and bathmats. I was anxious to see what kind of new things I could cosset myself with.
Actually, I really don’t mind the place because our visit afforded me the opportunity to browse cool things like santoku and to sit in the massage chair demo. In fact, this store would be ideal if they opened a power tool section and gun counter. I guess I can’t have everything.
Intentional, non-ADHD tangent:
A few months ago, Mrs. Muzikdude and I were at Bed, Bath, and Beyond when we came across the massage chairs set up for demonstration. We took turns trying each one until we had each settled into our favorite. We sat there for at least 15 minutes.
A sales associate walked past and asked if we needed any help. Mrs. Muzikdude’s answer was, “No thanks. We’re comfortable…I think we may just sit here all night. I doubt you can make us leave”. The employee chuckled and went about her business.
About 5 minutes later a manager stopped by to inform us that the store had been closed for 20 minutes.
Good times.
Yeah.
Back to the trip at hand:
Mrs. Muzikdude pried me away from the sharp kitchen implements and we headed for the linens. Yawn.
This is where I learned that I’ve been sleeping on 400 thread count sheets. Cool.
Yawn.
This is also where I discovered the amount of excitement a clearance sale on 1000 thread count sheets can elicit. One-Thousand-Thread-Count…is it possible?
Let me tell you something; if you ever have the chance to strip down to your skin and slide your cheeks between 1000 thread count sheets…do it. I don’t care if its right there in the store or at someone else’s house…pretend to use the master bathroom, lock the bedroom door and do it.
Anyone’s house but mine, that is.
You might want to reconsider doing it in the store also.
There are three things that will keep a person in bed all day; a hangover, depression, and 1000 thread count sheets. Who knew? I not only feel pampered, I feel educated, and with the addition of good sheets, good food, and good massages to my life, I may very well end up the nicest person you’ll ever meet. These are life changing things that, when combined into a single force, border on the supernatural; certainly the unexplained. Dare I say miraculous?
I’ll be in bed if anyone needs me.
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